Who is watching?
A few weeks ago - I was watching my son’s soccer game. All of us parents were up in the stands and of course all the kids were on the field. A time or two, I noticed one or two of the kids take an occasional glance up at us.
I wondered what do they see as they look up from the field at this group of parents.
I was seated on the side, so I looked over at us parents as a group.
What do you think I saw?
Imagine it in your minds eye.
The strange thing is, I used to get mad, I used to feel sad when I looked around me and saw everyone on their phones.
But, I have noticed lately, that I don’t even notice it anymore.
Actually, I rarely even get upset about it.
It has become so ubiquitous.
Too often, I am right there with everyone else - also on my phone.
I imagine it’s somewhat like a cigarette was back when I was growing up.
Somewhat Ubiquitous to see people smoking everywhere.
The same sort of glow - lighting up the face of the people you know.
That it has become so normalized, so much a part of our culture, that I’m not even seeing it - scares me and does make me upset.
Like cigarettes, these phones are so addictive, and we don’t even yet know all of the effects it’s having on us and everyone around us.
I’m currently reading - The Book of Permission by Nona Orbach.
In it she states:
“Permission is an experience of allowing, acceptance, and belonging, between two people or parts of oneself. A subtle questioning - Am I allowed to be who I am? is answered with permission, which creates and permeates the mutual affinity. One’s feelings shift from uncertainty and hesitation to a sense of belonging, from aloneness to relatedness. Anxiety becomes ease. A circle closes.”
She goes on with a short story -
A toddler is walking side-by-side with his grandfather in the garden. He stops and looks down at a red-dotted beetle on a plant with huge leaves. He looks up and smiles at his grandfather, who simply kneels and smiles back at him. The grandfather joins in the child’s awe and curiosity without saying anything.
This is permission.
My question to you and our culture - when our children look up at us - are we looking back at them? Are we able to catch those smiles and return them? Are we answering their question of - Am I allowed to be who I am?
Are we helping to close that circle of anxiety?
Or is all they see… our faces lit up by something else? Something on a screen.
“At Wonder Studio, we want to create a community of parents/caregivers who are lit up by the faces of the children.
Join us.”
