Do something that scares you everyday, what?!?!

How do we raise children who are brave and resilient?

I am doing a lot of reflecting these days as my 18 year old daughter is in her last month of high school and will be graduating and going to college in August. When they tell you it goes fast, they aren’t kidding.

I told my daughter the other day, as she was heading off to Tampa in our family mini-van, “You should do one thing each day that scares you.”

After, she left, I thought to myself, do I do that? Do I really think that’s important?

Her driving over the bridge to go to Tampa, definitely scares me. Seeing your babies driving is absolutely terrifying. Letting them go - is the hardest thing about being a parent.

And, I don’t want her (or my son) to be scared. It breaks my heart to think of them suffering in any way. Ha ha, I am afraid of the fear. I think there is a presidential quote about that very thing.

Make friends with your fear - my favorite Buddhist Teacher, Pema Chodron, has said.

What does that mean?

Well, when you see your friend, you say Hi and are generally welcoming.

You sit with your friend. Sometimes you offer a hug or kindness or a kind of tenderness.

My children have had the good fortune to see their mother befriend her fear quite a few times. It often looks chaotic or messy, even tears. I’m not good at hiding my tender friendship with fear.

I see a lot of bravery and resilient kids and adults at Wonder Studio. They come in and are hesitant, shy, or even outgoing, and friendly. They fall down, a friend hurts them, the paint feels icky, the worms give them a dirty look - but I see them. They get back up again (after a hug from their adult), they learn how to wash the sticky paint off their hands, they give the worm a smile and a name.

Kids are always working with their fear. I find it very inspiring and am glad I get to work and play with these little gurus.

One of my “fear friendships” is fear of doing the wrong thing. Or saying the wrong thing, or basically, just being wrong.

Well, as you can imagine, this friend visits almost incessantly!

So, I just try and notice her and say Hello again.

The view at Wonder Studio - we are trying to teach kids, is this idea of Non-Judgement. Can we stop making things good or bad?

Gosh, it’s really hard.

My reaction is almost always - I like that - or I don’t like that.

Separating the world - but when I see myself doing that - I try and open up and wonder - what if I let go of things being bad or good and just let them be as they are. Just experience life - instead of judging it.

Anyway - I hope you can join us soon at Wonder Studio.

In my effort to be brave - I’ll share a poem I wrote this morning in my journal.

Not using A.I. is now a new way of being brave!!

Please practice non-judgement when you read it.

By God, Chipotle used to Teach Rilke.

by Shannon Lipan

My first time reading Rilke was on the back of a paper bag

at Chipotle.

I’m reading Letters to a Young Poet while attempting to swallow a burrito that’s just way too much for me.

But that was years ago. Now there is a only a Logo.

I guess you never forget where you are when you first read Rilke.

Live the questions he said.

It was too big for me to swallow then and it still is now.

I’ve got to live my life in small bites, try to not bite off more than I can chew.

I keep hearing myself say -

Walk with your hands clasped behind you.

It’s an answer to a question I didn’t know I had.

No questions /No answers.

I’ve got to just listen.

Letters written more than a 100 years ago.
urging us on.

Strive on untiringly.